What Is The Ego?
What Is The Ego? Everyone runs around and talks about the ego as if it’s a real live aspect of themselves. “I can’t help what I do I have a big ego.” “That person is such a narcissist with her huge ego.” But what is an ego? Is it alive? Is it tangible? Can you tell if it is a part of you that is good, bad or indifferent? Could it be that your ego is formed at a young age when we were conditioned to perceive the world as fearful?
I don’t think a child is born with an ego in place and ready to go. The Dictionary states that the ego is the part of us that senses and tells our mind who we are. Well who are you? If your mind created this illusion or idea of who you are then do you really know who you are? Don’t we make up the story from what our five senses perceive then make a judgement about it? It gets filed away with right and wrong, good and bad, up-and-down, should and should not. Thousands of categories and endless stories made up in the mind.
What is the Ego?
The most Obvious of them all.
I call the ego once it’s developed in childhood our little people or persons. From our childhood we take on different roles. We learn from an early age how to manipulate our parents into giving us what we want. As they are conditioning us we are doing the same with them. By around ages 7 or 8 the ego is fully developed. I call it a protective mechanism that is formed because we are taught by parents, society, religion, etc, the world is not safe. We are also told that we are or are not adequate in certain areas. A child gets hooked into the belief that she or he is not enough and instantly lack is created.
We seek outside of self to get validation and approval of those around us. We lose the childlike innocence and become acutely aware that we have roles to play in order to function and get by in society. Carl Jung refers to these as the Archetypes.
What is the Ego?
Meeting Your Archetypes
There are several types of archetypes. Jung defined 12 primary ones that motivate or drive an individual. Each archetype has its own unique values, personality traits and sets of morals and values. They share a common goal. They have a clear agenda and serve to protect you for a particular reason.
We all have several different archetypes that play or come together creating a response to what others, society, etc bring to us. If we have made up the story that we are right and another is wrong then the Victim Archetype more than likely is ready to come out in full swing. Each person usually has one that is more prominent than the other. It was developed early in life. It is extremely helpful to recognize which ones are playing in you and to recognize that they are a response to a story that your mind has made up and thinks is perfectly accurate.
What is the Ego?
The Most Common Archetypes
- The Hero
- The Victim
- The Mascot
- The Innocent
- Orphan
- Caregiver
- Avoider of Conflict
- The comedian
- The Placater
- The Perfectionist
- The parent
- Scorekeeper
I see these main archetypes of egos present all day long in therapy. The goal is to first recognize who is in control. Once you identify your ego you will see that it is a part of you. It is holding you back from your fullest potential. There is no need for the ego because we start to see that the world is not a threat. The ego only exist if we allow our minds to create the stories. We tell ourselves that the world is cruel, fearful, and that no one has your back.
What is the Ego?
How Can Therapy Help?
How can you benefit form counseling and understand which archetypes run your life. Methods I use are Narrative Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. There are other approaches to recognizing these roles. Once you see they no longer play a helpful part you will start to bring awareness into the picture and they will retire from their job. Return to the true authentic child like version of who you are. The authentic self. Therapy will help you not only recognize these roles but it will also provide a way to make the return to the true self. The self that is child like and innocent.
