Toxic Families and understanding if your involved in one. Does the word ‘toxic’ describe your family and interaction with them? Toxic by definition refers to anything unhealthy or very lethal when ingested in large amounts. Does this term now seem more fitting?
Members of your family that are toxic can and do cause much unneeded stress. Their constant ways of hurtful manipulation, chaos, drama, control. neediness, clinging, negative criticism, and other unhealthy traits leave you drained. Leave you emotionally feeling constantly bad about who you are. This belief that we must “stick it out” because they are family is a conditioned response. If you allow yourself involvement year after year with toxic family members then your the one in harm’s way in regards to your physical, emotional and spiritual health.
Are you unsure if you’re involved in a relationship stuck living with very toxic family members? Maybe you minimize the level of toxicity and feel you’re just overreacting.
It seems that whatever you try and do, you repeatedly get the feeling of sadness and heaviness whenever around these members. They have a pessimistic viewpoint. Anything they say is negative, always pointing out flaws. These comments may not be said directly to you but you know that these hints are dropped by using ways such as passive aggressiveness or sarcasm. Staying too long in an environment like this will feel heavy and leave you feeling bad about who you are.
Do you find that you’re about to explode when around family members that are toxic? You may start off calm and cool but within not even 30 min you’re ready to explode. This is the normal flow of communication however sick and toxic it may be. These toxic members are very good a playing the victim and self righteous “know it all”.
There are people who find it pleasant to visit family members but for others the thought of going to see them makes you resentful, angry and you are resistant in your desire to connect. Would you rather walk on hot coals than be involved with a toxic family? This might be an indicator that it is unhealthy to engage in the family. Do you find yourself obligated especially during holiday seasons to visit with them?
Do you have that one family member that is in constant need of someone to take care of all their needs? They are constantly in need of you listening to their whining and cannot seem to resolve issues on their own. You find yourself treating others like the child and you the parent.
Family members are conditioned to believe they should supply you with the feelings of adequacy. That each should make the other feel complete. You find yourself completely exhausted when around family. All energy is zapped from you. You are placed into situations in which negative irrational thoughts and high emotions are the front runner.
– Having many family members distancing from you.
– Others for the most part seem very unhappy when they are near you.
– You identify as the victim.
– You must have a sense of control in all that happens.
– Your finding yourself saying mean and harmful things to others. Angry at all times.
– The need to constantly be validated.
– You struggle with addiction problems.
– Your always thinking thoughts that are negative. Both towards yourself and about life in general.
– Everything is very personal. You seek to find opportunities to make people accountable.
– Your constantly caught up in gossip about other people.
If you can identify with any of the above statements and find yourself at odds with family members than maybe it’s time to seek professional help. We come into this world and get hooked into the belief “blood is thicker than water”. Family loyalty matter the most. But to what extend should you endure unhealthy involvement with toxic family members? Seeking counseling for family and relationships can help you. You will gain the awareness and skills to not personalize or feel responsible for other peoples issues.