I could not stay in the counseling field if I wanted to be wealthy. I can not slap a worksheet in your hand and telling you to “agree to disagree, say some positive affirmations to feel better and to “take care of yourself”. What in the world does that even mean? How frustrating and disappointing it must be to look forward to seeing a therapist because you truly desire to be free from many of the stress and life issues that are holding you down.

So many therapist have no idea what they are doing. 3 out of 5 are totally unaware that they even got into the field to start with because they were processing their own family of origin or “mommy and daddy” issues. They claim to have the skills required but are not. The following is a list of what I feel makes the difference from a sleep state therapist to an awakened and aware therapist.

The Ability to Have Empathy

Empathy is the ability to be able to understand and also identify with a client’s experiences. Even when they are unable at the time to clearly describe how they are feeling or their thoughts. A great therapist is able to empathize when it comes to a wide range of people. A good therapist can empathize with a wide variety of people, I must stay attuned to each of my client individual needs and emotional state. I must stay alert and able to sift and sort through a client that presents as angry to help them reach lower levels of feelings and better understand their thought process.

Highly Skilled Listening

It is vital that I stay an active listener to my clients. I must quickly be able to reflect back to them their thought process, remember the important events and the feelings they are conveying in session. More importantly I need to be able to detect and read what is “not being said”.

Example, a sexual abuse survivor that does not talk about their traumatizing experiences may be taking through their silence. An unaware therapist may get thrown off and frustrated. They become bored and inpatient. They have little to offer the client.

Both Social and Effective Communication Skills

The ability to have adequate of good social skills may carry a therapist through the first couple of sessions. A client will come in and not feel comfortable yet opening up to a therapist. It is my job to use my skills to quickly make you feel comfortable. if it’s on the phone, face to face, etc. Be asserting confidence and reflecting to the client highly effective communication skills, it draws out the clients ability to feel comfortable and safe.

Ability to Set Healthy Boundaries

I must provide ethical counseling and in order to hold the space and be of service to my clients. I am bound by HIPPA but more than that it is the honorable and ethical process to provide ethical counseling. We must avoid any dual relationship, including romantic and/or sexual by nature. It is my job to communicate to you clearly the nature of therapy and the limits of a therapeutic working relationship.

Critical Constructive Thinking

A good therapist must use critical thinking in order to diagnose and to develop a strong set of treatment goals. It is important that I stay on top of the latest medications and research data in the field of mental health. Staying present and mindful to inform my clients of all alternative methods (exercise, herbal and vitamin therapies, or changes in nutrition). A therapist that is able to see several approaches to treatment is highly effective.

You want a therapist that is not afraid to ask the tough questions. To challenge your ego and discuss what really lies underneath the surface. Anything less would be a disservice to your spirit.