Learning to lose the Guilt
Many years ago single parenting was seen only as acceptable in situations where a spouse had passed away. Now it is seen as not only normal in society but thanks to media it’s now the new “black”. I would not take it that far. If your holding onto guilt and shame and thinking that your child or children are disadvantaged then it’s important to change this view or your children will sense your shame or guilt. This will create their own ideas and feelings about the make-up of their family.
Plug in with others.
Single parenting doesn’t have to always mean going it alone. Gather like-minded parents and people in the community that will provide you with encouragement and motivation. At the very least babysitting! It may seem scary at first. You will soon realize there are so many single parents right outside your doorstep that feel the same way. Plug in with other single parents. Increase your support system and gain some friends. Support which not only benefits you but your child will feel that much more loved. Group therapy for single parents is a great way to plug in.
A network of other single parents helps provide you with the emotional and social support you need. You can find great resources that have been helpful for other parents.
Accept the help You Need
You may feel as a single parent that you don’t deserve to ask for help. You feel defeated and overwhelmed. If you do not ask for help things will never change. There is nothing wrong with asking for help and it’s out there.
Don’t be envious of couples
It’s easy to think that the grass is always greener on the other side. It is very easy to get caught up in the idea or fantasy illusion that things would be perfect if you had a partner.
The truth is that all relationships have problems. Married couples have problems. Being a single parent actually does have advantages. You only have to make decisions for you and your child.
To be constantly envious can turn into bitterness and resentment. It drains you of energy and creates tension and anxiety. Focus on the things you are grateful for. You cannot go wrong. You will see how blessed you are.
Stay involved with the other parents family.
You and your ex are no longer together. Can the extended family members on your exes side stay healthy and positive? Do they want to be in your child’s life? If the answer is yes, that’s great. I know this can be hard. Learning to put your own frustrations with other adults secondary and allowing your child to create this bond is so important to them. They need to know and want to know their extended families on both sides. Holding them back from this relationship will likely cause resentment toward you.