As a licensed mental health counselor I have seen couples for over 20 years. The same cycles surface among them all. They feel unappreciated, not seen, heard or validated. They don’t communicate well so they run with their own assumption and have unrealistic expectations. The problem with this is that they never spoke about what those expectations were before getting married.

So as situations arise they get snagged on an issue and start to become enemies pushing their truths onto one another. Demanding that their way is the one and only right way. The resentment grows and they find themselves bitter, only focusing on what does not work in the relationship.

The following is a list of topics that you and your partner may want to discuss in order to uncover each other’s truths, expectations and assumptions. By clearing these up it can save a lot of heartbreak, unwanted energy and anger. See if you and your partner align on the following:

1. Money– How to save, when to spend and on what to spend.
2. Children– How to raise them, discipline then.
3. Career– How much time is devoted to work, how to interact in the workplace with colleges, your individual goals for work.
4. In laws and extended family – Identifying if they are too involved or controlling. Do they split you two as a couple? Have you both agreed to allow any of them to live with you? Are they respectful to your partner?
5. Talking to others outside of the relationship . Who is acceptable, how much time spent feels comfortable, how do we keep things open and honest?
6. Your own individual definitions . What does trust look like to you each? Do you know your expectations entering the marriage or relationship? What is honesty, what are your own non negotiables?
7. Communication– What is your style? Do you have any expectations that the other person must communicate the same way you do?
8. Triggers– What are your triggers or buttons that when pressed by your partner you go straight to anger and resentment?
9. Styles of showing love . What is yours and do you know your partners? Do you have unrealistic expectations that your partner must know yours and act on it? Do you make up the story that if they don’t then that means they don’t love you or care about you?

These are great topics to clear up when it comes to relationships.. Relationship counseling in Orlando is a great place to uncover your truth. To sift and sort to get a clear understanding of the following:

1. What are each of your own individual communication styles?
2. How do you see your partner not appreciating you or listening to you?
3. Are you all clear on the expectations for the relationship and are they realistic?
4. What issues or sensitive buttons do you each have? What are the triggers?
5. Do you both have the ability to see life through each other’s eyes?

If you feel stuck right now and unable to shift in your relationship then maybe it’s time to seek professional mental health counseling. We have a great team of wonderful therapists waiting to assist. All it takes is the willingness to listen, set your ego and pride aside and be teachable. You and your partner deserve the opportunity to have an aligned and peaceful relationship. Call us today at High Expectations 407-967-1327. Don’t feel stuck and resentful anymore.