Refusing Counseling and The Top 10 Reasons
Refusing counseling is common for most people considering therapy. Coming to see a counselor can be a difficult decision which may take some a while to make. For most people they don’t feel comfortable seeing a counselor for the first time.
The Top 10 List
1. Seeking counseling shows a sign of being weak.
I find this to be the farthest thing from the truth. Anyone who can admit that they are not their own God and can admit that they are human are the bravest. They understand everybody has a “blind spot” and that it takes a third person or an objective outsider’s eye, to simply help them to see areas that need to be shown to them in order to improve their quality of life. Asking for help is a sign of wonderful maturity, self-awareness and inner strength.
2. Counseling is for crazy and really messed up people.
Some people who receive counseling just feel simply “stuck”. They may be at a point in their life where they feel a blockage, unhappy, and simply just ready for change. You don’t have to wait to be in immense pain in order to seek counseling. You may just simply desire to move in a different direction in your life and desire to collaborate with a therapist on how to do so. Everyone including therapist, psychiatrist, etc need help from time to time to take a look at areas in their life which need change, attention and a shift. That’s how we stay moving forward and expanding.
3. What if others find out I am in therapy?
Counseling is strictly CONFIDENTIAL. As therapist we are bound by the law and must abide by strict ethical standards. It would be completely unethical for a therapist to ever share client information.
As your therapist I have a legal duty to report if there are signs of child abuse, elderly abuse or threats of serious harm to oneself or another. Other than that it’s no ones business and you should always feel that therapy is one place you can just lay it out on the table and be the real authentic self, feeling safe that your information will stay completely confidential between the two of us.
4. “I don’t know what to talk about or how to put words to my feelings.”
Try to think less about what you’re going to say and more about how this experience can help open you up to create change. Therapy provides a different outlook on an issue. Those issues you saw as doom and gloom. Therapy shows a more effective way to communicate to someone and a better understanding of yourself.
The words start to come naturally once you begin working with me. It’s my job to help you and to guide you and to “meet you where you are”. In this sense it means it’s my job to facilitate dialogue that will help you to feel comfortable to open up and talk about the issues that bring you in. Refusing counseling and therapy is common and most therapist are well trained to deal with the resistance.
5. “I can’t afford to pay for sessions that will go on for a long time or weekly.”
First, there’s no greater investment of money that could ever be spent in creating a sense of joy, peace and happiness in your life. I never turn a client away. I feel that it is my honor and responsibility to match you where your needs are. If you’re struggling financially please don’t let money hinder you from calling me. I provide a sliding scale personal for each client. Together we will come up with a number you feel comfortable paying. My goal is for you to be able to do the work without worrying financially that it’s hurting you.
6. “I don’t need to talk to a stranger. I have my friends to lean on for support.”
Yes your friends can provide wonderful support and that’s enough at times to help us through difficult areas or times of our lives. A relationship with a counselor is different in various important ways. You find that your friends are not objective. Friends are emotionally charged and can’t remain open to listen. Friend and family are too emotionally involved to see clearly and be unbiased. Friendships involve a mutual exchange back and forth of listening and sharing. In counseling, the focus is completely on you. Therapist ask certain questions and approach the situation with a set of tools and techniques different than a friend would.
7. “How can just talking to someone do any good.”
There are wonderful benefits in talking to a therapist. Discussing your issues with someone who cares and is non judgmental helps you to relieve the emotional pressure that builds up from keeping our thoughts and feelings to ourselves and not processing them. It provides a way for you to understand who you are and how you relate to the world around you. In counseling, the focus is about bringing awareness and understanding to areas of your life that you were unaware of. This provides new insightful ways of looking at your problems and gives solutions that will have lasting effects.
8. “If I seek counseling then I feel I am betraying my family.”
Family situations are often the hardest to navigate alone. Confidentiality and privacy is of the utmost importance. Often times counseling may start just with you. You will open up to include family members in therapy. Great change and effectiveness will happen when you open yourself up to the process.
9. “If I talk about my issues it will just make them that much worse.”
Quite the opposite. By examining concerns and issues and shedding light on them, it helps to dissipate the emotional pain and intensity. You are better able to understand how your thoughts lead to behaviors and actions that no longer work and create constant struggle and chaos.
10. “I so not trust anyone. Taught to never air my dirty laundry and to keep it to myself.”
This is what I call dysfunctional conditioning. Ideas and concepts that just no longer work. The old-school thought that we should sweep things under the rug leads to imploding and immense pain and anxiety.
leaves you isolated and in pain
Here you have it. My top 10 reasons people are refusing counseling. People think they are unique. They are all the same. They follow the same themes and patterns. Let’s work together to change the irrational thought patterns that have passed down from outdated generations.