Marriage counseling questions and getting real. It’s time to really get to know yourself and your partner. Many of the clients I work with come in with the same issues. They are playing the right and wrong, blame game. When I ask them to answer the simple question, “what is your definition of love”, it’s like hearing crickets. That is because we individually have no idea who we are and we become dependent on others to define us. We allow our partners to define our self worth, influence our thoughts about who we are, etc. We depend on the other person solely for all of the support and uplifting in order to feel good about who we are.

This type of marriage or relationship I call the “Domino Effect”. It is when two people are leaning up against each other for support. If one falls down then the other falls down as well. The following is a list of Marriage Counseling Questions that I utilize with my clients and couples. See how well you do when answering these questions.

1. What is it that you’ve learned about each other that you did not know when you first met?
2. What do you both find that irritates you, frightens you and upsets you the most?
3. Are you both satisfied with the time you spend as a couple together? How about the time you spend apart?
4. If you have had any major life shaking shocks then what have you both learned about each other through this experience?
5. Tell each other the expectations you each had when entering married life. Have they been fulfilled and met? Why not?
6. Have you felt you have given up certain aspects of who you are for the relationship? How do you feel about this?
7. Name the times you have felt the happiest together.
8. Is sex with your partner satisfying for you both?
9. Are you both content in your individual lives and therefor with each other in the marriage?
10. Financially speaking are you both on the same page and have the amount that you expected to have? If not how much did you both plan on see having at this point?
11. What are the plans for the marriage in five years? What goals individually and as a couple do you want to achieve?
12. Do you both feel like you contribute to the family financial income?
13. Do you both find yourselves agreeing when it comes to having children? What about raising children? Have you discussed your ideas on religion, the in laws involvement, schooling?
14. How do you both deal with the day-to-day frustrations and irritations in the marriage? Could they be managed better?
15. Do you both feel today more emotionally connected then when you first met?
16. What is your individual definition of love? Has it changed?
17. Do you speak your mind and let each other know when you need something or are upset. Do you find that you implode and keep it to yourself?
18. Do you secretly wish you were not in the marriage and feel stuck? Have you been secretly wishing for a divorce or separation?