Counseling for couples is about restoring balance, both partners feeling appreciated and validated. Listening and seeing how each other can not only improve the relationship but improve themselves as a whole.

All too often a couple has forgotten to get back to the basics of what attracted them in the first place. They are caught up in the blame game that seems to go nowhere. As your therapist it is my job to help each couple take ownership and responsibility for their part in the issues that brought them to therapy. To work towards learning healthy patterns of communication so each feel appreciated, heard and validated.

Marriage Counseling Orlando and the Baggage We Bring In

Adults bring years of their own experiences from past relationships. Family of origin issues and their own belief systems about relationships. With these expectations they try force their opinions on the other and change that person. They have set unrealistic expectations on their partner and/or themselves. They find they are disappointed, anxious, angry and distraught when these expectations are not met. Rediscovering each other for the first time is key to learning a new method of reengaging in the relationship. This builds a strong and lasting bond.

Most couples, similar to family counseling rarely come into therapy both highly motivated and ready to work on improving their relationship. One is felt dragged into session. It becomes a last ditch effort to save the marriage. It’s important for me to remember that much like family therapy, I am looking at systems of communication and patterns that have been going on for several years. The patterns that no longer are effective or never were in the first place.

Some therapists want to meet individually with the clients and then have them together at certain times throughout therapy. I believe the best work with couples is done with both involved and present at the first session. There are the exceptions of course. Signs of emotional, physical or verbal abuse from the other partner. Also if one of the partners is dealing with deep wounds from the past and are unable to move ahead without individual therapy to work on past family of origin issues. These issues do not relate to the present relationship but are affecting it.