Improve self esteem and start living the life that is truly who you are. Our self esteem is made up of all the feelings, opinions and thoughts we have made up about who we truly think we are. The good news is that our self esteem is not set in concrete and fixed for life. We can change and it depends on the way in which we think. Negative self esteem over time is developed by our negative thoughts about who we are and the story we have made up about ourselves.
Many times a person is unaware of the negative thought dumping they are doing. When you become aware of it you can begin to change, Changing the way you see the world affects the way you see yourself in it. This ultimately leads to changing the inner critic voice inside of you.
If you want to learn to improve self esteem, change your inner voice and the dialogue. Here are some useful tips:
Learn How to Manage the Inner Critic- Learn to take notice of the critical thoughts your saying to yourself. You are harder on yourself than anyone else. You first need to be able to recognize it. If you can find a trusted friend or family member, ask them to kindly point out how often your inner critic is telling you harsh statements. Awareness and mindfulness is key.
Start to Focus on the Things Going Right For You- If all you focus on are negative thoughts then you will create more and more. Your focus needs to shift. When you notice yourself thinking negatively, catch it and create a positive self statement instead. When you wake up each morning start writing in a journal three positive things about yourself. Also take note of three things that worked well for you the day before. What action did you perform for these positive things to occur?
Stop Trying to Be Perfect. We tend to hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations. We are perfectionist living in an imperfect world. Why are you holding yourself to such high standards? If you do then your always afraid to take risks and feel that failure is a bad thing. We only learn and hone our skills when we are no longer afraid to fail.
Mistakes are Great Growth Opportunities to Learn- If you want to improve self esteem, you must accept the fact that you will in life make human mistakes. We all do. It is a crucial part of learning and succeeding. Instead of telling yourself “I will always mess this up” say to yourself, “I may not get it all right the first few times. It is alright though because I am learning. I will be great at it soon.”
Learn to Edit the Thoughts Leaving You Feeling Inferior- How often do you compare yourself to others? You are left feeling less talented or accomplished than them. If your always comparing yourself to others then your never going to think your good at anything. I used to hate it when my parents would say, “There will always be someone who is better than you and not as good as you.” I now at an older age can use that as a great tool. It’s true that others will be much better at something and who cares. That means I can follow their model and learn from it. It does not leave me feeling depressed or anxious.
Be Brave and Try Something New. Give Yourself the Credit- Improve self esteem by trying new activities and explore hidden talents and passions. Learn to take pride in your gifts and talents. When you start to see yourself as good at something you start to believe in yourself. The inner dialogue changes quickly.
Set Achievable Goals- Take the time to sit down and write out a vision for your life. What goals would you like to see yourself accomplish? Start making a plan for them. Next you have to stick to your plan and make sure to keep track of the great progress your making. You now are training your brain to give yourself a high five. You are reaching your goals instead of always thinking negatively.
Be Proud of Your Own Ideas and Opinions- To improve self esteem you cannot be afraid to speak up for yourself. Learn to take things less personally if others simply disagree with you. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and the way they see the world. So are you.
Accepting Compliments Is A Good Thing- When you find that your self-esteem is low, we tend to not see the great things others are saying about us. We just assume they are saying that because they pity us or they are just trying to be nice. Be authentic and allow others to give you a sincere compliment. Give one back as well.
Contribute to Others In Need- A great way to improve self esteem is to stop always thinking about yourself and help another. Maybe there is someone in your class or at your job that could use some help. Be of assistance to others. Volunteer and do service work. Start to make a difference in others lives and you will see a tremendous change in yourself.
Remember to Relax and Not Take Things So Serious- Why do we walk around so serious? Relax and see that life is light and not something so heavy we have to drag around behind us. Spend time and seek friends that are positive and uplifting. Lighten up and don’t take yourself so serious. It really is OK to laugh and have fun.
Do you feel that you suffer from low self esteem? Are you having a hard time identifying the internal negative dialogue. Counseling may be for you. Together we will explore the internal narrative or story that your making up about who you think you are. You will see that the story is not the real authentic you. Through the use of Narrative Therapy, Present Center Awareness Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, you will discover you are not the story you are making up about yourself.