Couples Counseling Orlando. Why is it that couples seem to wait to attend therapy as a last ditch effort? I hear time and time again couples say that they have been in a bad place with their marriage for years. It’s usually when one partner realizes that the other is serious about leaving the marriage that they finally are ready to give it a try.
Couples counseling Orlando would be much more effective if couples and individuals didn’t still feel like seeing a therapist was taboo. there is still this belief in society that you only go to a therapist for serious mental health issues. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Everyone could benefit from seeing someone. It could be a therapist, mentor, coach, etc. Having an outside objective person to help you with the blind spots we each have is invaluable. We can’t always see the press that we need to work on when we go to friends and family. More times than not because they have a personal connection to you, they are going to tell you what they think you should do.
No matter what the situation presents it is very helpful to have a neutral person assist you and your partner sift and sort through the assumptions, expectations, and false narratives that derive from our conditioning and programming from childhood.
So often I get a call from one partner sounding very nervous on the other end of the phone. I understand their fear. You may have reservations about therapy. Some feel awkward and vulnerable at the idea of opening up about their relationship and sharing it with a therapist. Understanding my approach to counseling with couples is key to feeling comfortable coming in and allowing yourself to be honest and open to the process.
The following list are my thoughts and ideas on conducting therapy for Couples Therapy Orlando:
- Couples get stuck in a feedback loop of negative communication. They shut down from talking and this leads to resentments, assumptions and frustration over unmet perceived needs.
- When your in the relationship it is hard to see what needs to change in order to bring healing. A person outside of the system can see much more clearly the patterns and how the flow has negatively impacted the relationship.
- I work collaboratively with couples. I think of myself more as a coach, helping to point out areas where the communication has become stuck and repetitive. By seeing the system the couple can then start to not personalize it and the communication can begin to flow.
- I always tell couples that the first session will be together and that once we all three meet, we will then decide which way to naturally move. The process of couples counseling Orlando is always an individual journey. Most of the time after the first session, it is very clear what individual work each needs to focus on in order for the system to heal and for change to occur.
- Almost all of the time when the couple has a break in communication fear sets in. The couple stops talking and each feel unheard, not seen and become angry and attempt to change the other person. Understanding that you cannot change anyone but yourself is key.
The truth is that if both are willing to look at themselves and just take an honest inventory they will see that much of the reason for the break down is caused by conditioning. Past conditioning from childhood are the belief systems that tell us what a relationship should or should not look like. We never sit down with a partner at the start of the relationship and have a talk about our childhood conditioning.
Most are unaware that they operate from conditioning. When your partner does not align, you get a feeling of frustration. Instantly the partners become defensive and guarded. You feel that you are right and the other is wrong. Both cannot really understand what they are arguing over but they feel justified in their beliefs.
Counseling will help you to identify the conditioned belief systems that you are holding onto so strongly. You will see how they are not aligned with your true nature. Once revealed you will be able to change your thought or perception and shift into a healthy state of being. Anger, anxiety and fear will slip away. The key to a happy relationship is to know your self. The better you understand yourself and how you operate, the better you are able to allow others to be themselves. This is the stage of love coming forth. Acceptance and allowance for others to do and be themselves without any of your needs being met.