Counseling Before Divorce
Counseling before divorce is extremely beneficial. Marriage therapy statistics report less than 10% of couples seeking divorce attend therapy. There are so many benefits to marriage counseling prior to divorce. Counseling before divorce can truly save your marriage. You have to be brave enough to trust the process. There are those couples that are in agreement that seeking therapy before divorce can be highly beneficial. They are motivated to do the work.
There are also couples where one partner is highly motivated to attend therapy but the other refuses. They may say they want to go but they are not being honest. The spouse may feel pressured to attend by their spouse. They may be completely unmotivated to seek therapy. They may be scared to attend and tell a therapist their personal information.
It can be very difficult to do therapy unless both are willing to be teachable and open to the process. I tell many couples that if their partner is not motivated to attend then don’t try to force it. It only takes one person to change the system.
The most optimal is of course if both will attend. A reported 97% of married couples admit that counseling was beneficial. It isn’t always about saving the marriage. Sometimes it’s about attending to see that you two are no longer compatible and that the best thing may be to move on. For me I tell couples that it is important for them each to individually find their own alignment. From this stage your better able to truly know what works best for you.
Counseling Before Divorce
The following are five reasons counseling before divorce can be beneficial.
- By attending therapy you will be more certain if divorcing is the answer. It’s never the therapists job to tell a couple if they should get divorced or not. That is a personal decision each needs to make. A good therapists will attempt to show a couple how to effectively communicate, work through tough dilemmas, etc. However if the therapist also thinks that the relationship is extremely toxic and beyond repair that will be shared with the couple. Still I believe that a marriage can be saved. But also sometimes it’s best to put down the swords and agree to disagree is a solution cannot be found.
- You and your spouse can learn effective communication. Counseling before divorce will help you sort out what the specific issues are. So many couples are caught in cycles of misunderstanding and are making assumptions without even clarifying what the topic is. Attempts will be made for each partner to truly be heard and feel that they are seen. When we get married we expect our partners to be mind reader’s? And that’s not the case. Then we get upset when they don’t understand what we’re saying. So we go quiet and gain resentments and become frustrated. This leads to years and years of misunderstanding. Without clear communication. A marriage can erode at the very core
- If children are involved, counseling before divorce can be extremely helpful. If a couple does decide that divorce is the best option then attending therapy is vital for both spouses in regards to the emotional and mental health of their kids. Divorce does not always mean it has to be ugly. Many mature couples attend therapy and can agree that divorce is necessary and they want to do all they can to help their kids transition through in a healthy way. Children tend to blame themselves or try to get in the middle of their parents problems in an attempt to restore balance. This can be stressful for the kids and lead to having to take sides or get involved in adult topics that are none of their concern. Children are always seeking safety and stability. Learn the tools to be able to discuss what divorce looks like when done in a peaceful way. Family counseling is important at times like this.
- Counseling before divorce can help couples to better understand their relationship and identify areas of conflict. It can also help them to develop better communication skills, identify potential solutions to their problems,and explore options for reconciliation. Counseling can also provide emotional support and help couples to better understand their feelings and emotions.
Counseling Before Divorce