Conduct disorder counseling Orlando and seeking help for your child. Do you find yourself saying to your child often, “What is the matter with you? Why are you acting like this to me personally?” or “You’re driving me crazy,” You find that you’re always taking your child’s behavior very personally. This is a common trap to fall into. You start to assume always the worst from your child and only see the worst. You believe it is malicious and directly meant to hurt you as the parent. Conduct disorder is a real disorder and less about you personally. Be able to see it more objectively and address the issue at hand.
Everyone tends to personalizes things and this is very hard to separate when it comes to you own children and their behavior. We all get mad from time to time even when it has nothing to do with us. For example, a car that cuts us off can make us so mad we want to scream at the driver and ask them how they could do something like this to you. It is a very disciplined skill to learn to not see life as personal especially when it deals so closely to home.
Learn to start seeing more clearly your child’s behavior instead of focusing on your emotional reaction to take it serious and personalize it.
When parents start to personalize their children’s behavior, it often leads to an endless amount of fighting and resistance. It’s a lose lose situation. Avoiding power struggles at all cost is key.
I find many of my parents in sessions remark that they don’t feel their children care about their feelings. My response to them is that they are right. Kids and teens are not concerned about their parents feelings as this is a time in your child’s life where they perceive the world revolving around themselves. Teen at this stage in development are not yet mature enough to develope a sense of empathy. Appealing to this side of them will not work. To expect this empathy and understanding from your child when they are misbehaving is a direct reflection of the adult parents personalizing a situation. This is very common with kids and teens and happens to all parents.
Some parents implement a very strict, authoritative and rigid parenting style while others choose a more passive, child focused approach. Neither of these parenting roles have shown over the years to be very effective. When we show our children that we are incapable of tempering our own emotions, the child becomes scared and they sense that there is no set structure or order. Parents must find a healthy blend that sends a direct message to the child that your calm, in control and not personalizing their reactions.
So What do you do when your child pushes your buttons?
The following are some techniques that will help you to get back in control and create a calm, yet assertive in control household that is neither too passive or to authoritative.
Remember to breathe: Take yourself out of the situation and pause for 10 seconds. Count to 10 in your head and breathe deeply allowing yourself to get grounded and back into your body and centered. Utilize mindfulness techniques. By doing this one small act you will not act out impulsively and you will find your anger will subside. That small action is going to let some of the anger subside and might allow you to respond rather than react.
Be firm and hold your ground. Look directly at your child in the eyes and say firmly that you do not like their behavior. Next, turn around and leave the room. Be sure to speak in a calm and even a tone. Be serious and direct when you do this so they are sent the message that you will not be swayed or rocked by their behavior and it is not personal to you.
Counseling can assist in helping you to understand your emotional reaction to your child and how to not personalize it so that your able to be emotionally stable and able to support yourself and your child through this stage. Listed are just a few of the ways therapy for conduct disorder can be beneficial for you and your child.