Codependent Relationship Counseling Orlando
Codependent Relationship Counseling Orlando is right for you if you can relate to this article. Yes love is for sure unselfish. The needs of our children when they are born naturally come first before our needs. We won’t let our baby go on crying endlessly from being hungry during the middle of the nighttime just because we don’t want to have to wake up. As parents e spend tireless hours shuttling our children around to different activities. Being tired and doing things we don’t necessarily want to do is part of what it means to love our kids.
However, when it relates to adults it gets sticky when we are always putting the other first in the relationships. This comes at the expense of our sense of well being and our health. Just what does it mean to be codependent?
Codependent Relationship Counseling Orlando
About This thing called Codependency
Codependency is indeed a learned behavior. We as little kids watched the actions of both parents. If we saw our parents struggle with setting healthy boundaries (always the victim, martyr, inability to say no) then more than likely, we learned these conditioned behaviors and incorporated them into our own intimate relationships.
Children that grew up with parents that were emotionally immature or unavailable can easily be at risk for codependency. They may often find that they are in relationships with partners that are emotionally unavailable. They still find themselves staying in the hopes they can change the other person. No matter the cost they don’t stop hoping and wishing that one day soon things will change for the better.
Codependent Relationship Counseling Orlando
How Codependency Works
Subconsciously our mind is hoping that if our loved one could simply “see the amount of love we give them” then other will leap up with enthusiasm and be inspired and motivated to change. We want the love that we so longingly desired from our parents. This type of thinking is very destructive. We must learn to have boundaries that are healthy and that can keep us in our alignment. If we don’t we can easily fall prey to emotional, physical and verbal abuse.
What’s worse is that we do not seem to realize this and live in very loveless relationships. Codependent relationship counseling in Orlando is vital for those who feel this way. We failed to learn early on what a good relationship that is healthy looks like. Codependent individuals just do not think they deserve love.
As a codependent this person will look for outside people to help them feel complete. They seek to “fix their partner”.
Being with an emotionally unavailable partner is common. The partner may have develop some addiction or behavior (workaholism, alcoholism, or some other compulsive behavior that allows them to be able to avoid feelings of emptiness as it relates to the relationship. Most are not willing to look deeper within themselves and deal with their own emotions
Codependent Relationship Counseling Orlando
How do I know if I am codependent or in a relationship that is?
If you think you may be in this type of relationship then the first thing you must do stop looking to your partner to fill your needs and start looking at yourself.
If you can honestly agree with some of these following characteristics then you may struggle with codependency.
- You find that you tend to love people that you feel you can pity and you can rescue.
- You often feel that your responsible for others actions.
- You find your doing far more in the relationship to “keep the peace.”
- You are very afraid that you will be abandoned or left alone
- You are responsible for the happiness of your partner.
- You seek and need the approval of others to gain a sense of self-worth.
- You have a real hard time adjusting to many changes.
- You find it hard to make decisions and doubt your intuition
- Trusting others does not come easy.
- Your moods seem to be controlled by the others thoughts and their feelings around you.
Codependent Relationship Counseling Orlando
Heal From Codependency
The very good news is that codependency most often is always a learned behavior. So this means you can change. If you want a relationship that is loving and kind then you must do the individual work required.
Steps to recover from codependency are the following:
- Start by being honest not only to yourself but also to your partner.
- Stop doing things you don’t really want to do. This only leads to frustration and resentment.
- Stop living a lie. Express what your needs are and communicate them directly.
- Stop the negative thoughts. Try and catch yourself when you start to have “stinky thinking”. If you think you deserve to be treated badly then chances are you will find a relationship to reflect that.
- Stop taking everything so personal. It will take a lot of hard work for the codependent to not personalize. Codependent relationship counseling Orlando is a great way to start exploring yourself and understand why you do the things you do.
- Learn to accept the other just the way they are and stop trying to fix and/or change your partner.
- Take much needed breaks. There is absolutely nothing wrong from time to time to take a break. This is very healthy to develop friendships that are outside of the relationship.
- Seek counseling. Get into codependent relationship counseling Orlando. With or without your partner just get in. Therapist provide an unbiased third party. A therapist will point out to the codependent their tendencies and their actions. You will be provided with feedback and guidance to help you start the healing process.
- Rely on your supports. Co-Dependents Anonymous is a great support to have in place. This is a 12-step group that is very similar to that of Alcoholics Anonymous. It helps you to see and break your conditioning and learned behaviors. You will relate to others who are on this journey. You will not feel so alone.
Self-Care Does Not Equal Selfish
As you’re doing the hard work to begin breaking the cycle of codependency, you may have feelings that your being selfish and that it’s unfair to your loved one. This however is far from the truth. Both partners in a healthy relationship have fully developed and formed identities. This is separate from time together. They on their own bring unique qualities and attributes to the table. This creates a healthy partnership allowing both to grow and to thrive.
Codependent Relationship Counseling Orlando
Here at High Expectations Counseling we have a team of experienced therapists ready to assist in your growth and journey back to who you were before codependency was formed. Unravel yourself and do the harder but freeing work of learning who that person is. Call today at 407-967-1327.
