Codependency Counseling Orlando and the word codependency is a term people throw around today in modern society. We have no real understanding of the severity and harmful affects it has another person. It is a state of being or condition where a person fixates and focuses on attempting to live through or for another person. Attempts to do so are disguised by manipulation and controlling the others the actions.
There is an obsessive yearning much like that of an addicts urge to use drugs, to take care of another. Thus avoiding focusing on themselves. When the codependent is blocked by attempts to fix others, they will experience intense anxiety. Their whole purpose they believe is to play out the role of the sacrificial caretaker. This pattern of compulsiveness along with the urge to focus and fixate on others is an attempt to avoid self. They are unable to see that this comes from a place of fear. This fear results in feelings of control. Attempting to control their outside environment is a way to feel safe for the codependent.
Codependency Counseling Orlando – A Learned Behavior
This is a learned behavior passed down from generation to generation especially in women over past decades. The codependent has learned to develop dysfunctional behaviors in an attempt to survive in a family that is unstable. An environment that is unpredictable and causes tremendous feelings of unrest.
Codependency counseling Orlando is both a behavioral and emotional condition in which a person in a relationship feels that their happiness and self worth depends on another person. Codependents tend to form what can be referred to as “relationship addiction“. Often times it is common to see one partner in the codependent relationship with a drug, alcohol of behavioral addiction.
This is the golden opportunity for the codependent to sweep on in and take over. They feel 100% justifiable in their right to overtake the others life by bombarding, enabling, fixing, planning, controlling, etc. I refer to this as “Giving the Codependent a Job”.
The codependent finds themselves focusing all of their efforts on the other person while their ego is telling them they are “putting their own needs aside”. The exact opposite it true. All attempts under the guise of the self sacrificing codependent is the ultimate form of selfishness and assumes that others are incapable of taking care of themselves and must have them or else they will not “make it”. Codependency occurs in all types of relationships some more subtle than others.
Low Self Esteem
Many codependents suffer from feelings of low self esteem, They may feel that they need to stay in a toxic relationship even though it is not fulfilling or meeting their emotional needs because they believe that no one else would want them. The self esteem issues makes the codependent convince themselves that they need to stay in the relationship. To put up with a less than desirable situation because they truly believe they are not good enough. That they are not worthy of a loving relationship.
For example, with an abusive alcoholic and a codependent, the person with low self esteem may feel it is their duty to stay and cater to the needs of the person with addiction and try to” fix” them and their relationship, when in reality they should walk away.
Difficulty Setting Boundaries
Codependents have a difficult time setting boundaries in a relationship. It is difficult to respect others. The codependent may allow others to invade their personal space. They feel they do not have the right to speak up. Their voice and opinions do not matter. They might feel as if they cannot disagree. This is true when it goes against what the other person in the relationship believes, feels, or thinks. The codependent may not even realize that they have the right to be treated with respect.
Difficulty Owning Own Thoughts and Feelings
The codependent has difficulty owning their own thoughts and feelings. Codependents are continuously focused on the thoughts and needs of someone else. Some spend their life trying so hard to please the other person. The other feeds off of the approval and admiration of others. In all of this, their own true sense of self gets lost. To the point where the codependent may not even really understand what he or she/he thinks or feels. They seldom focus on themselves.
Difficulty Meeting Own Wants and Needs
The codependent has difficulty owning their own thoughts and feelings. They are continuously focused on the thoughts and needs of someone else. Some spend their life trying so hard to please the other person. The other feeds off of the approval and admiration of others. The codependents own true sense of self gets lost. To the point where the codependent may not even really understand what he or she/he thinks or feels. They seldom focus on themselves.
- Signs and Characteristics
- Your left feeling responsible for other peoples feelings, choices, wants, needs, etc.
- Trying to please others all the time. Does not take into consideration if you are happy or not.
- Feelings of guilt if someone gives you something.
- Feel angry and victimized even after you do for others without them asking for your help.
- Constantly searching for clues or some concrete proof of alcohol in the home. You are their watch keeper.
- Always trying to prove yourself to others, yet you never feel you measure up.
- Fear of rejection from others frightens you. You seek their approval constantly.
- You are very hard on yourself in regards to how your look, think, feel, & act.
- Blaming yourself for things that are not your fault.
- There is a desperate need for love and affection.
- You lie to yourself that you can fix others.
- Do you yourself saying what you think people want to hear instead of what you truly think?
- You feel guilt for everything.
- The belief that your opinion doesn’t matter to others.
- Lying to protect the ones you love. Covering up and enabling
- You have difficulty expressing your emotions honestly and openly. You have a hard time asking for help.
- Focusing on fixing others gives you a sense of worth and a sense of importance.
If you find that you answer yes to several of the above descriptions seek help for Codependency Counseling Orlando, FL. Learn to start taking care of your own needs. Understand the motives behind why you feel the strong needs to caretaker others. Individual and couples counseling are great method to use. Call today and let’s start the work to freedom.