Children Therapy Orlando
Children Therapy Orlando and how parents are landing their children into therapy all on their own. Raising a child and the techniques used has been a very touchy subject in the US. There is always a lot of tension when it comes to which parenting style should be recommended. We have the bonding parents against the disciplinarians, child-centered parenting versus the parent-centered. The pendulum has been swinging between all of them for many decades. The goal that underlies all of them is the same. To raise a child that will grow to be a productive and happy adult.
Growing up my parents of course wanted to see me happy as did their parents. What has changed in the recent years is the way in which we define happiness. Not only for our children but for ourselves as adults.
Children Therapy Orlando
How Are We Defining Happiness?
Nowadays, it seems that it is not quite enough to just be happy. Not if you can be a slight degree happier. We have this idea today that we all must be happy at all times. So why are so many kids today unhappy? They statistically on paper should be happy.
For one client of mine she has two great, successful parents that love their child. They are wealthy, have given her great schooling but yet the daughter has bouts of depression, low self esteem and obsessively reorganizes her closet three times a week.
The idea that happiness should be a goal is a recipe for disaster. We speak about it as if it’s something tangible. “Go find your happiness”. This goal is what we see so many parents obsessively focusing on and it backfires. Could the answer be that by parents attempting to always protect their kids from feeling unhappy, they have deprived them of happiness as an adult?
Children Therapy Orlando
Should We Be Honest?
We see parents going to great length to avoid their kids from having to experience any discomfort however mild. The slightest hint of anxiety, disappointment or fear and the parent rushes to soothe and make things easy for the child. With this approach a child then becomes conditioned to think that normal day to day frustration is something devastating to experience.
We are all guilty of this. Parents race across the playground to scoop our child up when they fall hoping to reach them before the first screams come out. We have a friend who is sick so we lie and avoid telling them that their moms good friend is going through stage 4 cancer. Instead we “enlightened parents” just tell our kids that she likes to wear scarves because she is so unique. Goodness forbid our children learn about the cycle of life and death. Not telling or children sends the message to our children they cannot handle discomfort. Society would tell you to lie and that it would be to shocking for the child.
When I am real with my daughter and trust her to handle the news she then in return trusts me more. I was sending a message that she is able to tolerate sad news and anxiety and that I was here to help her understand it if she wanted to know more.
How Society Responds to our Kids
We can see even in the schools with teachers how parents that are overly sensitive to how their child is treated is getting in the way of the normal day to day schooling. Teachers report feeling as if they are walking on eggshells. For example, if she says to a group of kids that are name calling or climbing on a table “knock it off”, she would be fired. She now must stop the class and go up to the children to better understand their feelings. Then she must explain why it is not nice to name call and then help them to say sorry and make up. By the time that is wrapped up the children no longer want to play and they squeeze out an inauthentic “sorry”. They then turn around and do it again five minutes later. Because they get a pass they will continue to do it. They know nothing bad will happen.
Children Therapy Orlando
Respond to Their Needs Accurately
The message parents are sending to their children by giving so many choices can lead to entitlement. They should have a perfect and blissful life. They do not deserve to ever be treated harshly, spoken to and disciplined by anyone. Parents are only creating anxious, entitled and emotionally crippled kids. They have no sense of self and zero conflict resolution skills. They lack direction in life.
Seek counseling today. Learn how to reassess your approach as a parent. Get your child on the right track to succeed in life. Counseling may come in the form of family therapy or may just require you and your husband/wife for couples counseling. It is not the child that needs to change. It is the parents approach.
