Victim Mentality and how far does it really get us? Being a victim was so much fun many years ago. I especially love the righteous victim that is owed and deserves a certain way to be treated. I remember her demanding from other people that expectations be meet and then if they were not, she would be so offended, angry and pissed off. How dare other people not listen to her, take her advice, rescue her, do for her what she could do for her self.
The problem was that I thought the world owed me something. I thought that my voice was being accounted for and very important. I expected people to respond accordingly to what I said and how I felt. Little did I know that this entitled victim was really feeling not seen and heard all along. So the louder the temper tantrum the louder that little girl was screaming for attention to be seen and heard.
The Not So Good Effects
Being the righteous victim just created a system of push back from people even faster abandoning the victim or leaving her for good. They got tired of hearing me talk and whine and complain. The victim completely gives away all of your personal power and you become a victim to yourself, enslaved by others because your mood shifts all the time depending on how others treat you. If they do see you the right way according to you, then you’re happy and if they don’t your whole day can be destroyed.
How do I overcome the victim role? I had to start seeing that I was one of 7.5 billion people on this earth that had an opinion about something. I had to start seeing that other people outside of me are not going to change and that the way I see myself needed to change. People really don’t care what you have to say that much. This realization was huge for me. If others do not care about what I have to say then what are they doing. ( They are thinking about themselves). I also realized that what I was saying was just a reflection of how I was feeling on the inside. The book The 4 Agreements was life changing for me. I highly suggest that all read it.
Today it’s hard for the victim to come out and play. She wants to peek her head out and engage but she doesn’t stand a chance. I start to chuckle when she peeks her head out because that indicates to me that for some reason I’m starting to think I’m owed something which is hysterical. The world does not owe us one single thing. We are blessed to have and receive any of the benefits and beautiful offerings that it has to give us. Can I seek to understand others instead of always being understood? Yes that’s what brings me into alignment with myself today.