Self-Sabotage: 3 Things You Need to Quit for a Happy Life

Self-Sabotage: 3 Things You Need to Quit for a Happy Life


Self sabotage: 3 things you need to quit for a happy life. You want to be happy, and who doesn’t? But if you keep habits that create sadness, you make the task more difficult.

While it can seem surprising, many people tend to undermine their good intentions. Self-sabotage can occur when people start to hinder any success that is coming their way.

When people start this behavior it starts to become a behavior that is harmful. It can start to impact many areas of your life. Your career, relationships with others, your mental health and much more.

Quit the three following behaviors that sabotage your mental health. Below is a list of ways you can start to get out of the cycle of self sabotage.

Self-Sabotage: 3 Things You Need to Quit for a Happy Life

  1. Negative self-talk

Does someone mean live in your head? Somebody who says you aren’t good enough? If so, you’re at the mercy of a wayward inner voice that needs guidance.

Maybe you imagine that critical self-talk is out of your control. But the part of you that produces your inner narrative needs direction. Your mind gets the message to plow even more attention into negativity when you focus on it. Before you know it your entire inner dialogue is negative and dark. You start beating yourself up for no apparent reason. Being mindful and aware of what your mind is saying at any moment is vital to your mental health. We are what we think. If we are constantly dumping negative self talk into our minds then that is all we will focus on. It will shape the way you see the world and your role in it.

Narrative therapy is an effective way to work on changing these thoughts. It helps you to sift and sort through your conditioning and why your telling yourself theses statements. You are not your mind. It is a a powerful tool but learning to become aware that your not your mind is the first step of true awareness.

Take control of the voice in your head. When it offers reasons for unhappiness like “you’re not gorgeous enough to ask the person you like on a date,” for example, challenge it. This is irrational thinking. It is fear that is underneath this.


2. How to silence critical self-talk

Self-criticism creates neural pathways in your brain. More negative narratives slide along these ready-made pathways. But you can veto undesirable self-talk. Repeat positive ideas often until new neural connections form. Use reason and compassion to correct unwanted thoughts. Utilize positive affirmations into your daily regimen of self care. There is power in the “I am statements”. It does not even matter if you don’t believe them. Fake it till you make it.

Critical inner narratives stem from self-protection when you face challenges. Negative thoughts pipe up when you are near the edge of your comfort zone. So, soothe your subconscious that is driving the fear. Branch out to show you can cope. Visit different places and attend unfamiliar events. Your confidence and supportive self-talk will grow. I like the acronym for fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. Remember that you have no proof it is just your mind wanting to keep you safe. It is always looking to awfulize and create worse case scenarios.


3. Comparison-making

Society encourages you to compare yourself to friends, colleagues, celebrities, and wealthy entrepreneurs. Everything about you, from looks to intelligence, is fodder for scrutiny. The take-home message is to chastise yourself if you don’t measure up. This is why social media is so harmful. We think we are seeing others living this wonderful life. Most that are living a wonderful life are to busy to be posting that they are. They give out this false illusion and we look at it and tell ourselves that we don’t measure up to them. We wonder what is wrong with us and become depressed. This can lead to a downward spiral quickly. We get addicted to social media and the lies it is telling us. Unplug from social media and see how you start to feel.



What to do instead

You are unique and incomparable to anyone. When you catch yourself weighing your qualities against someone else’s, stop. Reflect on those personal qualities you find desirable and forgo comparison-making. Start a rural daily to create better habits in your life. Surround yourself with others who are positive and who like themselves. Don’t hang around complainers and those that are negative and toxic.


Giving up responsibility for your happiness

Does your happiness depend on other people’s behavior? You might not think so. But consider whether you get upset when your friends and family behave in ways you find objectionable.

If you feel hurt when others act in ways you dislike, perhaps you give them too much responsibility for your welfare. It’s risky to offer your power to people who may not gratify you. Be accountable for your happiness and take control.

Of course, it’s natural to experience an emotional response when people you’re close to are behaving in disliked ways. But the key to claiming responsibility for your happiness is to rely on yourself to create your mental state. Don’t become a victim and start blaming others for your unhappiness.


How to take control of your happiness

Consider ways to deal with anxiety and boost your mental health. For example, you could practice deep breathing, exercise, and walk in nature. Likewise, meditation, yoga, and tai chi can help you take charge of your moods.

When you quit negative self-talk and stop comparison-making, your happiness will grow. Also, take responsibility for your joy, and no one will steal it from you, no matter how they behave.


Seek therapy

At  High Expectations Counseling we understand the important of taking ownership for your life. It is the key to setting yourself free from the bondage of others and those that tell you how to think and act. We have highly trained and licensed therapist that are ready to help you shift your thinking. Give us a call today at 407-967-1327. Start living a full and wonderful life.