Marriage-Advice and Seeking The Help You Need
Marriage-Advice is something all couples need from time to time. All relationships have their ups and downs. While some high points can seem like you are honeymooners again even afters years of marriage, there are also low points that can be extremely emotional and painful to endure. Yet with each high point and low point that your marriage experiences, the marital bond you share grows stronger.
Often what is more difficult for a marriage to endure, however, are the small, day to day challenges of two individuals who grow and change over time. There are some things you can do to ensure your marriage remains strong and full of love. Every couple can benefit from marriage-advice.
1. Accept Each Other.
This may sound simple to do, but it can be extremely difficult. If you married your spouse thinking you could change small things about his or her personality that annoyed you, you may be in for a harsh awakening. Yet even if you accepted your spouse when vows were exchanged, people do change in many ways over the course of a lifetime. Your lives will both be easier once the two of you come to accept and love each other, faults and all.
In the event, a behavior develops that is truly detrimental to your spouse, you, or someone else, it is important that you encourage your spouse to seek counseling and outside support to make long lasting behavioral changes.
2. Spice Up Your Daily Life.
Sure, you may go all out on Valentine’s Day and birthdays, but it is important to keep the spice in a marriage throughout the year. Kiss and hug your loved one every day. Spend time cuddling on the couch as you watch TV at night. Hold hands as you walk through stores or down the street. These small gestures are important to nurturing a lasting and loving bond. Occasionally, surprise your spouse with a special dinner or order flowers for no reason at all. These small but unexpected touches will do wonders for keeping a marriage on track.
Plan one or two evenings a month for a date. Leave the kids with a sitter and leave the day to day stresses of your normal life at home. Treat yourself to a romantic dinner out, a movie, a sporting event, or whatever other activities the two of you enjoy sharing together. Dating your spouse keeps the spark alive and allows you to continue to reconnect with each other on a personal and one-on-one level.
3. Communicate the Right Way.
With each word you speak, keep in mind that this is the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. Every word you say obviously won’t be sugar-coated with sappiness. Show your spouse the respect and kindness he or she deserves. Use calm and respectful words and tones even in times of high emotion. When emotions run high, explain your point of view and also listen to your spouse’s point of view with an open mind. Be present and mindful.
Most importantly, search for the middle ground in arguments. More often than not, arguments between spouses are over small and relatively minor issues. When small arguments heat up, try to keep the big picture in mind and ignore small annoyances. Your partner may be going through a period in their life where anxiety or depression has a hold of them. By sympathetic to their needs.
4. Make Time For You.
Being a part of a couple does not mean you need to do everything with your spouse for the rest of your life. You can and should have your own identity. Be sure to make time for outings with friends every few weeks. Or spend some time on your own at the gym, spa, golf course, or wherever you find enjoyable. When you nurture your own well-being, you will find more of yourself to give to your relationship.
5. Stop the black and white thinking.
We get into relationships with a conditioned mind. We think we are right and others are wrong. Understand that awareness is key to understanding the concept that everyone sees life through their own frame of reference. Stop assuming to know what the other thinks and feels.
Marriage-advice can be sought through therapy. There are many great benefits to seeking marriage and relationship counseling for your relationship. Some benefit form a combination of couples therapy and individual therapy. Often times one partner or both need individual therapy to explore their own internal set of belief systems. Those systems that are blocking them from clearly seeing the relationship and the other person.
The road of life is not a straight and narrow road, but rather a bumpy and winding road. You will travel along this road together, taking in the scenery together. There will be times you will break down on the side of the road together. Grab the hand of the partner and make this journey fun, loving and exciting.