Helicopter Parenting and Are You One?
Helicopter parenting is the way of parenting today. It is also referred to as lawn mower, cosseting or hovering parenting. This is a form of parenting in which a parent pays extreme close attention to his or her child’s problems and experiences. After identifying the potential problems, the parents actively seek to solve them for their kids. As much as great parents are supposed to be concerned about the affairs of their children, it is essential to note that there is a big difference between caring and overindulgence.
Decreased or lack of confidence and self-esteem
During development, children are faced with various challenges and obstacles. Through perseverance and determination, they are likely to overcome. Helicopter parents unknowingly seek to deny their children this essential rite of passage. Helicopter parents intervene when they sense a problem. This in turn ends up backfiring. The child starts to believe that they are not capable of fending for themselves.
This makes them lack the ability to develop friendships, perform well in school, or pursue hobbies and interests. Children develop a lack of confidence and self-esteem.
Increased dependency levels
A child who is used to being helped with everything makes them highly dependent on others. This prevents them from being self-sufficient. It will create problems for them in future. They will not be able to take care of themselves. Over dependency make children lack essential coping skills. Skills that are required to successfully face and overcome life’s challenges. Many suffer from anxiety, depression and other irrational fears. It is important to seek codependency counseling for help.
Developing a sense of entitlement
Parents need to allow their children to learn from their mistakes. Let them experiment with issues and challenges. Instill a sense of accountability in them. Helicopter parents are eager to bail their kids out. No matter what the case may be. Parents pamper and defend them. They face the difficulty in differentiating right from doing wrong. They lack accountability for their actions.
Developing a sense of entitlement
Children must learn from the parents mistakes. It makes them wiser and persevere. No matter the situation. Helicopter parents never allow their children to learn. Helicopter parents are constantly involved in solving any problem that arises. This makes the child believe that he or she should be perfect in whatever they do. Failure is never an option for them. This makes them resist from taking important risks. It creates and atmosphere of perfectionism. This prevents them from succeeding in various parts of life. It affects future careers, relationships, and basic social skills.
Helicopter Parenting and Seeking Help
Parents end up developing the helicopter parenting style as a way of proving how much they care. Research has discouraged this parenting style. The best course of action is to let the child actively solve their own problems.
Many parents have devoted their entire life to their children. It is vital to start seeing your own codependency. It is really an act of satiating the parents needs. Not the children’s. Therapy is not about shaming or blaming a parent. It is simply looking at those areas in their own lives that evoke fear, anxiety, stress, etc.
You first must be willing to stop working for your child. Give yourself the time to do your own work. Seek counseling on an individual basis and as a couple with your spouse if they are apart of creating or enabling this environment.