Emotional intelligence and change. What is emotional intelligence and why is it becoming a more and more talked about word? Emotional Intelligence is defined by the ability to manage and identify your personal emotions and those emotions of others.
- It is the ability to be able to harness your emotions. To then apply them to the tasks such as problem solving and thinking.
- The ability to build relationships. To also be able to relate to other people in social situations, to lead, to negotiate conflict, and to be able to work as a team (social skills).
Today since the workplace is all about managing people, it is stated by many experts that a persons EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is more important than the IQ.
Having Emotional Intelligence is being able to Change.
Why is change so hard for human beings? We become so conditioned to do the same thing day in and day out that to try something new terrifies us. Is it that fear is writing the story telling us that even though something is dysfunctional it’s still better than change?
If there’s one thing I know about life it’s that change is occurring all the time. So if we’re constantly in a state of change why are we terrified? Change is the one constant in life.
I think we would be hard-pressed to find things that don’t change. As humans we are so conditioned to identify with the mind. Always placing a story or interpretation on everything we see. We must classify it, give it a meaning and make sure it makes sense to us. If not we are scared and never allow for individuality or differences of opinions.
Schools and colleges place such a large emphasis on IQ and none on Emotional Intelligence. We are pumping out smart intellectual robots with no ability to relate to others socially.
We are our Thoughts
We are the fabric of our minds. What we feed into them creates the way we respond and act in this world. Look at your friends, family, co workers. Are they uplifting or pessimistic? Do they rub off on you and when you take a step back you see yourself the same way? Do you wake up first thing in the morning just to absorb the paper and turn on the news? Reading about the crime, murders and events that set you up to already feeling negative by the early morning?
This sets the tone for the day. In the way we deal with others in relation to self. We personalize everything and fall into the victim mode. We believe people have nothing better to do with their time than think about us. The day lags on. You are not present and mindful. You are instead off on another planet daydreaming. What if you accepted personal responsibility for your life and no longer played the victim? You become aware and gain emotional Intelligence and maturity.
Signs You are Growing
- No longer are you a victim to your surroundings. You take full responsibility.
- You do not see your opinion as the only right one. Others are not a threat to you just because they disagree. Black and white thinking disappears.
- You are able to connect with others on a deeper level and accurately read their emotional state through your own awareness of yourself, body language and other social queues.
- There is a sense of shared community and you don’t see yourself as you against the world. It is not a scary place where everyone is out to “get you”.
- When you understand your own emotions you can understand the emotions of others. You are able to have more intimate relationships and communicate as well as listen to others.
- Emotional intelligence influences the attitude and outlook we have on the world and on our life. Anxiety and depression are alleviated. You find you have a much happier view of the world.
Counseling Can Help
It really does not matter how smart you are when it comes to your intelligence. If you do not have the emotional maturity then you will struggle with others. You will find it difficult to relate in this world. Seek counseling and understand the many benefits of seeing a counselor to help guide you. In a collaborative way we will work as a team to uncover and discover the real unconditioned self.