4 signs you’re smothering your child. In order to raise a child that is independent, you must stop smothering him. A smothered child has a difficult time exploring and growing. The following are four signs that you might be smothering your child.
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You don’t let them play on their own
A child that doesn’t require constant supervision should be allowed independent playtime. This time alone encourages them to use their imagination and teaches them how to entertain themselves. Playing alone also builds social independence, so your child will not always feel the need to be around others.
They will feel comfortable whether they’re playing with other children or on their own. If your child isn’t used to playing alone, you can ease them in a little at a time. Set them up with blocks and ask them to build you something while you cook lunch or dinner. These little bursts of independent play can lead to longer amounts of time as they grows to enjoy this time on their own.
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You deal with their conflicts for them
It’s important that you don’t handle your child’s conflicts for them, especially without them present to observe how it’s done. If your child is at an age where they can resolve issues with a friend, you should let them. Running to their aid and making things better for them won’t teach them how to do it on their own.
If your child comes to you with an issue they’re having with a friend, teacher, or coach, use your discretion as a parent to decide whether it’s something you need to handle. Is it serious in nature or is it something your child can handle. You can be with your child for moral support when they talk to the other person.
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You do things for them instead of letting them learn
It’s normal for a parent to want to do things for their child, but as a child gets older it’s important to let them do more things on their own. If you cut up their food, tie their shoelaces, and dress them, these are skills they will not learn until later.
Allowing your child to learn how to do things for themselves will help to build their confidence. When you’re in a hurry, you might want to jump in and do it, which is fine, but shouldn’t become a habit. If you’re an impatient person, get an earlier start to allow your child time to get ready.
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You are involved in every decision your child makes
If you play a role in every decision that your child makes, they won’t be able to make the mistakes that will help them learn. You want what’s best for your child, but giving them the life-long gift for being able to make decisions on their own will be the best for them.
Raise your child to be an independent thinker. They may make the wrong decisions for themselves now and then, but mistakes are what will help them make better decisions in the future. If you don’t allow this, you may end up at college with your child helping to choose their courses or fielding phone calls from your adult child who simply can’t make decisions without your input.
You’re Smothering Your Child
Remember that when you go to parent your child you are parenting from what you think is best for them. This means that all of your conditioning and programming from your childhood gets displaced onto your child. Your child is not you. They have ne er had the same experiences as you.
try to see them as individuals learning things out for themselves. It’s vital that we help our children grow into a self-confident and independent adult, allow them a little more space to grow.
Seek the help you need today by calling us at High Expectations Counseling. Book a session with one of our very competent therapist. 407-967-1327
